Outcomes and obstacles
Yesterday, July 1st 2022, I posted on my Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/p/CfdlsEpMTM0/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link) controllable situations. outcomes (below picture / text) and obstacles. How obstacles can at times be totally un-controllable but also navigating through these. Many times, having control over outcomes is far fetched and we can at times allow it to control our emotions and at times, our actions. We either stop and give up or keep taking our text step and find a way through, past, over or under the obstacles to achieve an outcome. Remember, there is always an outcome, sometimes just not the one we wanted.
It was a post I was thinking about for a few weeks after speaking to people during my travels and how they have allowed obstacles to control them but also my experience in navigating obstacles as well as letting them stop me on my track. Anyway, fast forward 6 hours after posting this, I was sat in an Egyptian restaurant in Bangkok with 2 friends having just gone through a delicious chicken biryani and chicken murgh
I was waiting on an email regarding some plans I have when I return to the UK and up pops a notification. I had a little voice within saying “leave it, check it tomorrow” but then my urge to know what is happening took over and I opened the email out of impulse and impatience.
I instantly felt dread and my mood changed at a click of a finger, or more like click of an email. The news I was waiting for was partial and with a twist that would derail my plans upon my return. I was due to commence something in July and instead the email had a September date within it. I was pissed off, I felt annoyed, I felt flat and more so, I was disappointed. I had planned my return to the UK on 7th July based on this project, leaving the wonderful Thailand behind. September in the grand scheme of things is not a long way away but still, I was annoyed. I replied back asking if I still had to attend a meeting on the 15th July considering the commencement date has been pushed back to September. The reply was not what I wanted, at that time. I still had to attend so other things can be arranged and out in play, in line for September. My evening was ruined.
I couldn’t snap out of it; not that I tried. After half hour or so in my own head, I remembered the post from earlier, that I had posted. I thought maybe I should take my own advice. But then, based on experience, I knew shutting out my feelings would not help at that time and would probably come back and bite me in the ass. I wanted to ride the feelings and take them all in, not resisting, almost surrendering to my thoughts and the obstacle that I had just come across. Ultimately, I thought that’s all this is, an obstacle. I decided after an hour or so that I would take some time to myself that evening as I didn’t want to ruin my friends’ evening and that tomorrow (today, 2nd July) I will be good and just need to ride these emotions and have a debrief with myself. The situation was out of my control, the outcome was not going to change, my mission remained the same, just slightly later.
I accepted what was and made a promise to myself that I will allow me to feel the way i did tonight but tomorrow, we go again. Fair compromise, right? I read a book a few years ago which gave me these tips on controlling the chimp within (Chimp Paradox https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Management-Programme-Confidence/dp/009193558X/ref=asc_df_009193558X?tag=bingshoppinga-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=80470564181918&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584070139060739&psc=1), I so used this technique yesterday and have done on many occasions. I wasn’t in a life or death situation last night, it was not mission critical, so I had the opportunity to ride the emotion. Now, granted, some situations would not allow such freedom and there have been many occasions where I have had to put my feelings aside and crack on with the task in hand. Yesterday was not that. It allowed me to digest what was and me to be rational thinking what can I now do with the time I have, upon my return. I now have many ideas and in reality, time is precious and I have some time that I can spend with family and friends and also to explore a little in the UK as well as get back out on the hills. If you’re in the UK, Midland’s area and want to meet for a coffee, reach out. I have time on my side 😊
There will be situations in your life which will dictate how you need to respond to an obstacle; they may be mission critical depending on your profession and environment or simply require you to act fast, accordingly and rationally. This doesn’t mean you box it up in your head and never return to it again (depending on the emotional attachment) as it will likely come back and bite you; but make that promise and decide you will deal with it at a later date, when the environment and time allows. I sometimes make appointments with myself. Strange I know but it helps. It gives my mind that peace of mind that things will be dealt with and to allow me to continue. I have had to put my emotions aside during times where family members have been ill, sometimes critically ill; or the environment meant if I didn’t act, someone would get hurt or even in a policing environment where I’ve had to put emotions aside during incidents where my rational mind was needed to see things rationally and not let the environment dictate how I responded to an incident where someone could get hurt.
So, the quick take away today; If the time and situation allow you to ride the feelings and emotions, just do it. Allow yourself to digest it and even come up with plans on your next step. Don’t always push it aside and let it fester, or find a distraction. I mention time and situation because it is important; as mentioned above, it may be mission critical for you to push your feelings aside, and if so, do just that for the betterment of the mission. Just remember, to deal with your feelings at some point though.
If you’re wanting some help navigating obstacles, join a 3 month mentorship which will no doubt, elevate your ability to navigate through obstacles and give you a kick start TYNS mentoring package. The work doesn’t stop there though, it’s own to you to continue what you learn.
Final take away – we always have outcomes, some are not what we want but ultimately, there is always an outcome. If the one that arrives is not what you want, go again, work towards the outcome you want, until you get it.
Rishi Tyns365 – taking my next step once again