The aftermath
The day was going well, it was 8th September 2022, I was on my way to Nottingham from Watford, having collected a few belongings from my storage place. All was good, had lunch with my mate Lauren and a new start was looming, but little did I know, it could’ve been the end of the line for me and possibly others.
Self-talk – quick note
It happens right, or it has happened? Or maybe you’re not even aware of it! How did this make you feel? I recall many times growing up I would say these things or more to myself, the feeling of dread, the lack of self-esteem, the lack of confidence. Some of it was due to external factors out of my control, some, just being told things in the community or at school, it all had an impact, it all affected the self-talk dialogue. Ultimately, I was the loser here but looking back, maybe also others around me. They didn’t get the best of me; they didn’t get the opportunity to see what I was capable of at that time, the reason being, the negative inner self-talk.
What if?
Are you sure? What if it doesn’t work out? Have you thought about it? I don’t think you should? What about money? What about your job? Your [insert age]! Don’t do it! I’s too far! What about me / us [insert a loved one’s name] Have you heard any of this before? Highly likely when…
Grateful
Hard to argue with this right? A year on, and not much I would change or add. Lessons have been learnt. Hearts have been broken. Jobs have been gained. Jobs have been walked away from. Dreams have been made. As always, life is full of uncertainty, varying from the good, the bad, the ugly, the incredible, the beautiful, the nasty, the love…you get my point. At any one point, your life can be turned upside down, inside out, for the good or, the bad. I wouldn’t wish the bad upon anybody but for me, without the bad, the good wouldn’t have much value. I’m truly grateful for the bad that’s occurred in life. Would I have chosen it before I knew it would happen? Hell no. of course not. Who would? Knowing however the consequences of who I would become, would I have chosen it…i
Don’t burst my bubble just yet
I’m in a bubble. Not wanting to leave. A bubble full of love, joy, friendship, certainty, uncertainty, goodbyes, hello’s, growth and confusion. Having spent around 18 days in Koh Tao, I was reluctant to leave. I had the most incredible time there, met some unbelievable people, from all over the world and created memories. I was comfortable and that was starting to become an issue.